2 Million Dollar Dog

Years ago we had Million Dollar Dog named Tasha. She was a lovely mid sized dog with fur made from polyester. This meant that if it smelled bad, Tasha would eventually smell just as bad. The smell had nothing to with her status as a Million Dollar Dog, it was her leg that made her worth this small fortune.

When she was a puppy, a neighour crushed her right leg. The vet said, "We can pin this leg back into place and it will only cost $300.00." We thought this was pretty amazing considering the leg was being held on by a 1/2 inch strip of skin and fur. We were young and naive, and both had jobs, so we had Tasha fixed up. When the bills had reached the TWO THOUSAND DOLLAR mark, we started to refer to Tasha as the Million Dollar Dog. The Two Thousand Dollar Mark made us feel like a couple of Marks.

Now we come to Molly, the sweetest Rottie Cross you've ever met, with bark that would make Death Think Twice about arriving on our door step. Molly strained her right knee. She was slowly healing up and then for our anniversary present she tore her left knee completely.

Three Hundred Dollars, boy those were the good old days, Molly's starting point will be Two Thousand Dollars. Needless to say we will be returning all our empties.

In the meantime though, I built her some leg braces based on a little web surfing. At least now she has a little support for knees while we figure out when to turn her in the 2 Million Dollar Dog

Education

Education is an interesting thing. Yesterday I made French Bread for the first time. I found out what I needed to know from a book.


I know some of you know what a book is, it's where you go just before you try and find an answer by using Google.


I was doing some book keeping and my butt became sore from the ratty old chair we have in the computer room. (side note, we keep the ratty old chair because there are more important things to do than stare wide eyed into the gaping internet) We all know who Oprah is and once and a while I need to flush my tear ducts so today I watched for a few minutes until I uttered, "I hate you Oprah, you make care about American Stuff."

Today was Education Day on Oprah, normally I wouldn't watch her show's take on education ........but Bill Gates was on, so I quit my book keeping watched until I had to walk away and utter those words.

So How are we doing compared to our American Friends. After wiping the tears from my eyes, (I am critical but I do have compassion) I did a little Google Search on educational rankings.

Canada isn't doing to badly at all, I am impressed. Especially after my experience with some of the teachers my daughters had to deal with.


http://www.geographic.org/country_ranks/educational_score_performance_country_ranks_2009_oecd.html


Schools are one thing we have to consider, the other is how we deal at home in a helpful and nurturing manner. "I'll help you but I won't do the work, that's up to you."

Frank Zappa said, "If you want to get laid go to college. If you want to learn go to the Library."

Thanks Brie for the quote, my favourite Librarian.

Scapegoats

This morning while having my second cup of coffee I bounced back and forth from local news and CBC News Network. The thing that always fascinates me is that our national news source loves to run Press Conferences from the US White House. Okay, Okay I know that a lot of what happens in the USA effects our nation and that we are tied to them at the hip economically. I'm not saying that it is a bad thing I find it interesting for a couple of reasons. Number one, Are our own politicians so boring that they don't deserve full coverage of their Press Conferences? (I've watched a few and I may have a real point here.) Number two, Is it due to a lack of real Personality in our Politicians? (The Dynamic Stephen Harper for example.)

We have our issues, just like the Excited States, Forest Fire Season, The Annual Seal Hunt and Dwindling Salmon Stocks, Increasing Salmon Stock, too much Rain, too little Rain and the newest favourite, The Alberta Tar Sands. The Tar Sands and the Seal Hunt are the two big ones that get the World to notice that we are here. I'm not ignoring our countries' commitment to Peace Keeping around the Globe, but I bet most people change the channel when this comes on unless we've lost another soldier. Maybe I'm just getting jaded because of the presentation. I don't like the overly excited American News programmes because they tend to exaggerate the importance of the smallest story.

"This just in, 3 Fire Halls rush to the aide of Mother Cat that has given birth on third floor balcony. Swat teams has cordoned off the area for security. Placement of the Cat on the balcony may be an terrorist plot. Reporter Sky Slag is on the scene with this report."

On the other hand I don't like the Talking Heads, on almost all the Networks because they are just readers and should be paid as readers. I digress and have gone off on my standard rant about media, Sorry Folks. Now for the real subject of this posting.

I admire and respect President Obama. When he was asked this morning about growing animosity towards Islam in the USA, I found his answer very interesting. What he said without actually saying it was that when the general attitude of the nation is negative, the country is still involved in wars brought on by business interests and the banks and financial institutions have finally been exposed for the greedy MF's they are there is only one thing to do. Find a Scapegoat. Sound familiar, think back to the 1930's in Germany for example. Mr. Obama of course couldn't use that reference especially with that southern moron threatening to burn the Koran on September 11. If he did, the shit would not only have hit the fan but every fundamentalist in the States would be reviving racism on multiple levels.

Our own politicos may have been thinking ever since Mr. O has taken office, 'Boy I am glad I'm not in his shoes. He really got handed the shit end of a bunch of sticks. Maybe if we keep quiet our country will keep watching him and we can just quietly go about our business.'

Perhaps I have rambled a bit, but a Scapegoat is a Scapegoat. I have always tried to reject the concept of Scapegoats, why not just stand and tell the truth? "I am a poorly educated lazy facist who wants everything for as little work as possible and will blame anyone I can when they get my way. It can't be my fault I am a(n) (insert country name here)!"

Just a thought.

A faint Pulse

I have to ask, What's with PBS in the US? Friday night after dinner my darling Danish Princess turned on PBS Detriot, to watch a show called 'The Great American Songbook'. She is after all a Gay Man trapped in a woman's body. Her words not mine so calm down besides I'm just a Lesbian trapped in a decaying male body. Let's get back on point here. So here's this show, telling how great American music became during the early years of the 20th century. The time of Berlin, Hart etc. etc., well I agree but I did find some irony there. What I found amusing was that the Great American Songbook was written mostly by Russian Jewish immigrants that basically stole their musical style and subject matter from Black Americans. They then added enough White Bread American references that it would be deemed palatable to the rest of the country.

Okay maybe I'm being a little harsh on Irving and the other kids he worked with, after all I do enjoy some of the music. It just struck me odd that here is this show polishing over the fact that a lot of what they produced was 'borrowed' from a culture within a culture. The irony was that it is still being done today in popular music. Take EMINEM please. Next up on Detriot PBS was a ridiculous show about the history of Irish America hosted by Patty Duke. I don't know who dressed poor Patty or who did her hair and make-up and then supplied her with a terrible pair of glasses but they should be taken out back and shot. They took poor Patty and gave her middle America hairdo from the late sixties. Unbelievable! Then there was the show itself, Reetty Deetty Dumm Deery Dootie, crap. Again they proceeded to dumb down American History and put it to shamrock music including jigs.

That's when I lost it. I had to look at their programming for the next few days. More of the same sad shit pushing the concept the "Good Ol' Days" and how great America is especially if we package it in sugar and put music to it. I checked the other PBS Station from Seattle, same story, other coast. After checking three days of programming on both stations we realized that there was nothing on these stations to challenge you. There was nothing on these stations to create discussion, stir up a little controversy and engage you mind. Is this a Bush Mandate Holdover, stay the course, America support the troops? Has the commercialization of Public Broadcasting in the United States actually dumbed it down so much it has to play Victor Borge once week until they can save up to buy and play the latest Barry Manilow concert until we all puke and beg for more Victor?

I had a look at Knowledge Network and it's programming list for the next three days. Yes, there are some borrowed English Dramas but all in all it was an engaging lineup. Especially when we saw that at 10pm they were playing 'Wigstock the Movie', a gay romp in the world of drag queens.

That's when it felt good to live here with Knowledge Network asking and answering questions. CBC with Passionate Eye, Doc Zone, Market Place and more, all making us sit up and shout about stuff. That is democracy in action. When will America remind itself that there was more going on in the sixties than Ed Sullivans' Rock & Roll, or that while Big Band Swing Music flourished the world was at War. Have the specialty channels taken over this job in the United States? But what about Bubba and Lou-Anne that can't afford no fancy cable TV Specialty Channels? That's where publicly funded television is important. Look corporate sponsors, just fund the stations and stop dictating their content then we'll see PBS come back to life.

There is a faint pulse of hope if you listen, they do have Tavis Smiley.

Happy Canada Day

Happy Canada Day!

We live in a great nation but we take a lot of what we have for granted.

I'm not just talking about the regular stuff we have, like universal healthcare, or stable government, hockey, beautiful landscapes and a recovering economy.

Yesterday afternoon I started to ponder what a great melting pot our country is. I was sitting on our deck enjoying a glass of Argentine Wine, I said to my darling wife (the Danish Princess), "I should pull out the Canadian Flag and finally set up the flag pole." Next thing I knew there was the flag. So I rigged up a flag pole from an old brass head board rail. (We Canadians are inventive afterall) After I had it all set up of course there wasn't any wind. Finally I have something I want to flap in the breeze and there's no wind, what's going with this great Canadian Weather?

So, I'm sipping my Argentine Wine and I thought I bet my beautiful Canadian Flag is made in China. It sure was. The other thing I noticed was a special warning on the package. A special message just for our French Canadian brothers and sisters. That's how much the world cares about us, they include special warnings just for Quebec. I am impressed.

Apparently for 3 year old English Canadians there is a choking hazard. For the 3 year old French Canadians not only is there a choking hazard but the flag might suffocate them.

Interesting, OUI.

So after this revelation I went into the house to use my Japanese TOTO Toilet. I undid my Chinese Jeans, dropped my Bangledesh Boxers and relieved my self. I tucked in my Cambodian T Shirt from Superstore back into my Chinese Jeans and headed back out to my Vietnamese deck furniture to sip my Argentine wine and look across the Juan de Fuca at the United States.

Recently I received an e-mail from a former work friend, it was one of those 'Look what our government gives refugees' rant. I didn't answer then but I will now. This whole country is made up of refugees of one sort or another either because of poor economic conditions, persecution of some sort or just people trying to give their future children a better life.

How do you think we get Cambodian T Shirts, Chinese Jeans, GM Trucks, Bangledesh Boxers, Swedish Volvos, Swedish Ikea, Danish Leggo and the list goes on and on?

These refugees write back to their homes of origin and say, 'Hey they need cheaper T Shirts over here'. Next thing you know you're wearing Bangledesh Boxers.

I love Canada, we are a real melting pot, if we weren't I wouldn't have met my imported Danish Wife.

Happy Canada, wave that flag!

Danish Names

Danish Names

Okay last night I did have a couple glasses of wine. Sometimes though you have a revelation. Last night I did.

Did you realize that if you just put an SEN or a ENGSEN on anything you can create a Danish Name all you do is repeat the original word and add the ending?

Here's some examples"

Fridge becomes Fridge Fridgensen
Bitch becomes Bitch Bitchensen
Stupid becomes Stupid Stupidsen
Homely becomes Homely Homelysen
Happy becomes Happy Happensen
Busty becomes Busty Bustensen
Dick becomes a well known porn writer

And the list goes on. I know it's stupid but it really annoys some of the Danes and amuses the others. At least that's what Yappy Yappensen thinks.

Gooo Denmark

Get Cracking Spin Alert

Here's the synopsis of the news story that got me going.

Eggs are giving us salmonella.



Apparently they have been since 2007. Who discovered this frightening news? The Egg Marketing Board discovered this and thought we better know.

Here's some details, the salmonella has been found in egg overages sold by poultry meat producers that sell eggs privately and not through the egg marketing board. Free range eggs sold by independent producers and not through the egg marketing board. These eggs have found their way into restaurants and bakeries and other places that use large quantities of eggs, where cost is a major factor. These places are buying cheap eggs to control their costs rather then the price regulated eggs from the egg marketing board. BCTV and the egg marketing board didn't point there price controled fingers at anyone or even name any names. What they did do was use scare tactics to make us supicious of the source of the eggs we have purchased.

Wait a minute, did you notice I slipped in the words 'egg marketing board' multiple times. Gee, I wonder if 'the egg marketing board' has lost sales over the past 3 years. Gee, what do you think?

Even though the egg marketing board was only mentioned twice in the entire news story it seemed pretty obvious (at least to me) that they were spinning this story.

If this started in 2007 why are we just hearing about it now? How did they find these salmonella egg selling criminals? Did it really take them since 2007 to unravel their data and find these culprits? Did the egg marketing board all of sudden realise that starting this July, anyone in Vancouver with a backyard can have TWO Chickens? Did they freak out after doing the math and realising how much money they would lose?

Finally, how come the egg marketing board or BCTV didn't mention that if you do buy eggs from a farmer or poultry producer there is simple a sterilization technique you can use to kill salmonella?

Our egg producing friend explained that Salmonella can be transferred from the shell of the egg if it hasn't be cleaned properly. If you get some eggs and aren't sure if they are clean enough, simply get a large pot, fill it with water and put a few drops of bleach in it. Mix it around and then transfer your eggs into this bath let them sit there for a few minutes and then dry them off. Be sure to wash you hands before and after this exercise.