Vampire Lesbians

A couple of months ago I heard about an MSNBC programme host named Rachel Maddow. So I investigated her programme. Not being that interested in American Politics or Politics in general unless they directly affect my life, I generally click through these programmes quickly.



Much to my surprise I stayed and watched Rachel Maddow. She was sarcastic, funny and took shots at both Major American Parties as well as the Tea Party. Her coverage of the midterm election was in my opinion brilliant.

Rachel Maddow is somewhat like Jon Stewart. She demands your attention by delving deeper into stories, asking good well informed questions and provides solid well thought out opinions. I watched with interest as she roasted the Democrats for not taking the midterms seriously and wondered why they appeared not be campaigning. I first saw the racist Tea Party ad from Nevada portraying gangs of Mexicans sneaking over the border attack the White Residents of the State at least a month and a half before Barbara Walters brought it to the View.

Last Night's programme continued a post election wrap up and her take on the Mis-Information campaign that still continues. John Hodgman talked about how this Mis-information is created. Here's an example, Barack Obama is secretly bringing small groups of Muslims into the USA. Some goof wrote this in a blog somewhere and another idiot read it. Then at a televised Republican rally he asked a Senator if it was true. The Senator did a classic political non answer, 'I haven't seen that report but will be looking into it.' Next thing you know he is repeating the same claim. If you preface Mis-information by saying 'I read somewhere' or 'I heard that', somewhere somebody will buy it as fact.

I am attaching a You Tube clip to illustrate another example.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eOtR1IyiLjw

This sort information really requires an application of common sense. Just pull your common sense back off the shelf in your closet. Dust it off, and apply it where ever required. If you can't find your common sense, just Google it, I'm sure that someone somewhere is selling it online. If you can buy Canned Unicorn Meat, you should be able to buy some new or used common sense.

This will come in especially handy when you run into any Mexamericanadian Vampire Lesbians trying to tell you about Obama using an old Jimmy Carter sweater as a prayer rug or trying to get you to exchange your old money into the New North American Currency at par.

At least that's what I was thinking about this morning.

2 Million Dollar Dog

Years ago we had Million Dollar Dog named Tasha. She was a lovely mid sized dog with fur made from polyester. This meant that if it smelled bad, Tasha would eventually smell just as bad. The smell had nothing to with her status as a Million Dollar Dog, it was her leg that made her worth this small fortune.

When she was a puppy, a neighour crushed her right leg. The vet said, "We can pin this leg back into place and it will only cost $300.00." We thought this was pretty amazing considering the leg was being held on by a 1/2 inch strip of skin and fur. We were young and naive, and both had jobs, so we had Tasha fixed up. When the bills had reached the TWO THOUSAND DOLLAR mark, we started to refer to Tasha as the Million Dollar Dog. The Two Thousand Dollar Mark made us feel like a couple of Marks.

Now we come to Molly, the sweetest Rottie Cross you've ever met, with bark that would make Death Think Twice about arriving on our door step. Molly strained her right knee. She was slowly healing up and then for our anniversary present she tore her left knee completely.

Three Hundred Dollars, boy those were the good old days, Molly's starting point will be Two Thousand Dollars. Needless to say we will be returning all our empties.

In the meantime though, I built her some leg braces based on a little web surfing. At least now she has a little support for knees while we figure out when to turn her in the 2 Million Dollar Dog

Education

Education is an interesting thing. Yesterday I made French Bread for the first time. I found out what I needed to know from a book.


I know some of you know what a book is, it's where you go just before you try and find an answer by using Google.


I was doing some book keeping and my butt became sore from the ratty old chair we have in the computer room. (side note, we keep the ratty old chair because there are more important things to do than stare wide eyed into the gaping internet) We all know who Oprah is and once and a while I need to flush my tear ducts so today I watched for a few minutes until I uttered, "I hate you Oprah, you make care about American Stuff."

Today was Education Day on Oprah, normally I wouldn't watch her show's take on education ........but Bill Gates was on, so I quit my book keeping watched until I had to walk away and utter those words.

So How are we doing compared to our American Friends. After wiping the tears from my eyes, (I am critical but I do have compassion) I did a little Google Search on educational rankings.

Canada isn't doing to badly at all, I am impressed. Especially after my experience with some of the teachers my daughters had to deal with.


http://www.geographic.org/country_ranks/educational_score_performance_country_ranks_2009_oecd.html


Schools are one thing we have to consider, the other is how we deal at home in a helpful and nurturing manner. "I'll help you but I won't do the work, that's up to you."

Frank Zappa said, "If you want to get laid go to college. If you want to learn go to the Library."

Thanks Brie for the quote, my favourite Librarian.

Scapegoats

This morning while having my second cup of coffee I bounced back and forth from local news and CBC News Network. The thing that always fascinates me is that our national news source loves to run Press Conferences from the US White House. Okay, Okay I know that a lot of what happens in the USA effects our nation and that we are tied to them at the hip economically. I'm not saying that it is a bad thing I find it interesting for a couple of reasons. Number one, Are our own politicians so boring that they don't deserve full coverage of their Press Conferences? (I've watched a few and I may have a real point here.) Number two, Is it due to a lack of real Personality in our Politicians? (The Dynamic Stephen Harper for example.)

We have our issues, just like the Excited States, Forest Fire Season, The Annual Seal Hunt and Dwindling Salmon Stocks, Increasing Salmon Stock, too much Rain, too little Rain and the newest favourite, The Alberta Tar Sands. The Tar Sands and the Seal Hunt are the two big ones that get the World to notice that we are here. I'm not ignoring our countries' commitment to Peace Keeping around the Globe, but I bet most people change the channel when this comes on unless we've lost another soldier. Maybe I'm just getting jaded because of the presentation. I don't like the overly excited American News programmes because they tend to exaggerate the importance of the smallest story.

"This just in, 3 Fire Halls rush to the aide of Mother Cat that has given birth on third floor balcony. Swat teams has cordoned off the area for security. Placement of the Cat on the balcony may be an terrorist plot. Reporter Sky Slag is on the scene with this report."

On the other hand I don't like the Talking Heads, on almost all the Networks because they are just readers and should be paid as readers. I digress and have gone off on my standard rant about media, Sorry Folks. Now for the real subject of this posting.

I admire and respect President Obama. When he was asked this morning about growing animosity towards Islam in the USA, I found his answer very interesting. What he said without actually saying it was that when the general attitude of the nation is negative, the country is still involved in wars brought on by business interests and the banks and financial institutions have finally been exposed for the greedy MF's they are there is only one thing to do. Find a Scapegoat. Sound familiar, think back to the 1930's in Germany for example. Mr. Obama of course couldn't use that reference especially with that southern moron threatening to burn the Koran on September 11. If he did, the shit would not only have hit the fan but every fundamentalist in the States would be reviving racism on multiple levels.

Our own politicos may have been thinking ever since Mr. O has taken office, 'Boy I am glad I'm not in his shoes. He really got handed the shit end of a bunch of sticks. Maybe if we keep quiet our country will keep watching him and we can just quietly go about our business.'

Perhaps I have rambled a bit, but a Scapegoat is a Scapegoat. I have always tried to reject the concept of Scapegoats, why not just stand and tell the truth? "I am a poorly educated lazy facist who wants everything for as little work as possible and will blame anyone I can when they get my way. It can't be my fault I am a(n) (insert country name here)!"

Just a thought.

A faint Pulse

I have to ask, What's with PBS in the US? Friday night after dinner my darling Danish Princess turned on PBS Detriot, to watch a show called 'The Great American Songbook'. She is after all a Gay Man trapped in a woman's body. Her words not mine so calm down besides I'm just a Lesbian trapped in a decaying male body. Let's get back on point here. So here's this show, telling how great American music became during the early years of the 20th century. The time of Berlin, Hart etc. etc., well I agree but I did find some irony there. What I found amusing was that the Great American Songbook was written mostly by Russian Jewish immigrants that basically stole their musical style and subject matter from Black Americans. They then added enough White Bread American references that it would be deemed palatable to the rest of the country.

Okay maybe I'm being a little harsh on Irving and the other kids he worked with, after all I do enjoy some of the music. It just struck me odd that here is this show polishing over the fact that a lot of what they produced was 'borrowed' from a culture within a culture. The irony was that it is still being done today in popular music. Take EMINEM please. Next up on Detriot PBS was a ridiculous show about the history of Irish America hosted by Patty Duke. I don't know who dressed poor Patty or who did her hair and make-up and then supplied her with a terrible pair of glasses but they should be taken out back and shot. They took poor Patty and gave her middle America hairdo from the late sixties. Unbelievable! Then there was the show itself, Reetty Deetty Dumm Deery Dootie, crap. Again they proceeded to dumb down American History and put it to shamrock music including jigs.

That's when I lost it. I had to look at their programming for the next few days. More of the same sad shit pushing the concept the "Good Ol' Days" and how great America is especially if we package it in sugar and put music to it. I checked the other PBS Station from Seattle, same story, other coast. After checking three days of programming on both stations we realized that there was nothing on these stations to challenge you. There was nothing on these stations to create discussion, stir up a little controversy and engage you mind. Is this a Bush Mandate Holdover, stay the course, America support the troops? Has the commercialization of Public Broadcasting in the United States actually dumbed it down so much it has to play Victor Borge once week until they can save up to buy and play the latest Barry Manilow concert until we all puke and beg for more Victor?

I had a look at Knowledge Network and it's programming list for the next three days. Yes, there are some borrowed English Dramas but all in all it was an engaging lineup. Especially when we saw that at 10pm they were playing 'Wigstock the Movie', a gay romp in the world of drag queens.

That's when it felt good to live here with Knowledge Network asking and answering questions. CBC with Passionate Eye, Doc Zone, Market Place and more, all making us sit up and shout about stuff. That is democracy in action. When will America remind itself that there was more going on in the sixties than Ed Sullivans' Rock & Roll, or that while Big Band Swing Music flourished the world was at War. Have the specialty channels taken over this job in the United States? But what about Bubba and Lou-Anne that can't afford no fancy cable TV Specialty Channels? That's where publicly funded television is important. Look corporate sponsors, just fund the stations and stop dictating their content then we'll see PBS come back to life.

There is a faint pulse of hope if you listen, they do have Tavis Smiley.

Happy Canada Day

Happy Canada Day!

We live in a great nation but we take a lot of what we have for granted.

I'm not just talking about the regular stuff we have, like universal healthcare, or stable government, hockey, beautiful landscapes and a recovering economy.

Yesterday afternoon I started to ponder what a great melting pot our country is. I was sitting on our deck enjoying a glass of Argentine Wine, I said to my darling wife (the Danish Princess), "I should pull out the Canadian Flag and finally set up the flag pole." Next thing I knew there was the flag. So I rigged up a flag pole from an old brass head board rail. (We Canadians are inventive afterall) After I had it all set up of course there wasn't any wind. Finally I have something I want to flap in the breeze and there's no wind, what's going with this great Canadian Weather?

So, I'm sipping my Argentine Wine and I thought I bet my beautiful Canadian Flag is made in China. It sure was. The other thing I noticed was a special warning on the package. A special message just for our French Canadian brothers and sisters. That's how much the world cares about us, they include special warnings just for Quebec. I am impressed.

Apparently for 3 year old English Canadians there is a choking hazard. For the 3 year old French Canadians not only is there a choking hazard but the flag might suffocate them.

Interesting, OUI.

So after this revelation I went into the house to use my Japanese TOTO Toilet. I undid my Chinese Jeans, dropped my Bangledesh Boxers and relieved my self. I tucked in my Cambodian T Shirt from Superstore back into my Chinese Jeans and headed back out to my Vietnamese deck furniture to sip my Argentine wine and look across the Juan de Fuca at the United States.

Recently I received an e-mail from a former work friend, it was one of those 'Look what our government gives refugees' rant. I didn't answer then but I will now. This whole country is made up of refugees of one sort or another either because of poor economic conditions, persecution of some sort or just people trying to give their future children a better life.

How do you think we get Cambodian T Shirts, Chinese Jeans, GM Trucks, Bangledesh Boxers, Swedish Volvos, Swedish Ikea, Danish Leggo and the list goes on and on?

These refugees write back to their homes of origin and say, 'Hey they need cheaper T Shirts over here'. Next thing you know you're wearing Bangledesh Boxers.

I love Canada, we are a real melting pot, if we weren't I wouldn't have met my imported Danish Wife.

Happy Canada, wave that flag!

Danish Names

Danish Names

Okay last night I did have a couple glasses of wine. Sometimes though you have a revelation. Last night I did.

Did you realize that if you just put an SEN or a ENGSEN on anything you can create a Danish Name all you do is repeat the original word and add the ending?

Here's some examples"

Fridge becomes Fridge Fridgensen
Bitch becomes Bitch Bitchensen
Stupid becomes Stupid Stupidsen
Homely becomes Homely Homelysen
Happy becomes Happy Happensen
Busty becomes Busty Bustensen
Dick becomes a well known porn writer

And the list goes on. I know it's stupid but it really annoys some of the Danes and amuses the others. At least that's what Yappy Yappensen thinks.

Gooo Denmark

Get Cracking Spin Alert

Here's the synopsis of the news story that got me going.

Eggs are giving us salmonella.



Apparently they have been since 2007. Who discovered this frightening news? The Egg Marketing Board discovered this and thought we better know.

Here's some details, the salmonella has been found in egg overages sold by poultry meat producers that sell eggs privately and not through the egg marketing board. Free range eggs sold by independent producers and not through the egg marketing board. These eggs have found their way into restaurants and bakeries and other places that use large quantities of eggs, where cost is a major factor. These places are buying cheap eggs to control their costs rather then the price regulated eggs from the egg marketing board. BCTV and the egg marketing board didn't point there price controled fingers at anyone or even name any names. What they did do was use scare tactics to make us supicious of the source of the eggs we have purchased.

Wait a minute, did you notice I slipped in the words 'egg marketing board' multiple times. Gee, I wonder if 'the egg marketing board' has lost sales over the past 3 years. Gee, what do you think?

Even though the egg marketing board was only mentioned twice in the entire news story it seemed pretty obvious (at least to me) that they were spinning this story.

If this started in 2007 why are we just hearing about it now? How did they find these salmonella egg selling criminals? Did it really take them since 2007 to unravel their data and find these culprits? Did the egg marketing board all of sudden realise that starting this July, anyone in Vancouver with a backyard can have TWO Chickens? Did they freak out after doing the math and realising how much money they would lose?

Finally, how come the egg marketing board or BCTV didn't mention that if you do buy eggs from a farmer or poultry producer there is simple a sterilization technique you can use to kill salmonella?

Our egg producing friend explained that Salmonella can be transferred from the shell of the egg if it hasn't be cleaned properly. If you get some eggs and aren't sure if they are clean enough, simply get a large pot, fill it with water and put a few drops of bleach in it. Mix it around and then transfer your eggs into this bath let them sit there for a few minutes and then dry them off. Be sure to wash you hands before and after this exercise.

Ever had one of thooose dayz?

This is an Andy Rooney Moment

You ever have one of thoose dayz?
It starts alright, you wake up on time, eat your breakfast have a coffee, shower and shave ready for your first appointment.


Ever had one thooose dayz when everything seems to be place, you drive to your appointment and arrive 10 minutes early. No one is in the waiting room except you and then things start change.

Ever had one thooose dayz when your Doctor can't figure out why you are there and why you need a physical when you see him every other week. You explain it's for a pre-surgery examination which then jogs his memory. You find out that you've gained 4 pounds and lost 1/2 an inch in height. Then he ticks all the appropriate boxes for the exam report even the one where you lie a little bit.

Ever had one thooose dayz when he checks you blood pressure, heart rate and you find out your still aliveeee. This is a good thing. Ever had one thooose dayz when he asks if there is anything else then checks the liver spot on your face. He's not sure what it is. He's not sure if a cream would help. HE may have to refer you to someone. HE gets some dry ice to burn the old man thing on the other side of you head off. "This will burn a bit" he says as HE applies it to the old man growth. Burn, yes it burns like some one is hammering a hot nail into your temple.

Ever had one thooose dayz when as you are leaving He gives you your prescriptions and comments on the pending surgery. "This should give you some peace of mind having the defibulator put in, won't improve your condition but it is good for safety." You stand there a moment and discover that you have turned into one those big eyed kids in the black velvet paintings. Staring up you sputter, "But I thought if it resynchronized my ventricles it would improve my condition." He pauses for a second. "It might improve the heart function…. let's hope so."

Ever have one thooose dayz, that starts out with such promise and then you find out there is a turd in your sandwich. Ever had one thooose dayz when you drive forty minutes to pick up your prescriptions only to find they won't be ready until 3pm and it's only 10:30 in the morning? Ever had one thooose dayz when you wonder how and when you became medical experiment and if it will ever end?

Ever had one thooose dayz when you turn from you into a black velvet painting kid and want to get your hearing checked? Ever had one thooose dayz when you turn into Andy Rooney and ramble on about stuff that isn't under your control? Ever had one thooose dayz when you just have to laugh and say whatever, I guess I'll just have to deal with it?

Ever had one thooose dayz when you hope you don't drive everyone crazy talking like Andy Rooney until you go to sleep?

I do and this is one of thooose dayz.

Posting Comments & Followers

On all my blogs I have included a Follower section. Don't be afraid to become a Follower. I DO NOT SEND OUT E-MAILS TO HARASS YOU. It actually helps me see if my blogs are being used. There was a way of putting a counter on your site to record visits but I haven't been able to find a counter.

Please feel free to leave Comments and become a Follower I enjoy the input.

People have asked how to post comments on my blogs. It is quite simple really. You don't have to give any information that you want too. I have prepared an image which shows the basic steps.

A Little Discovery

Brie (my daughter) gave me an iTunes gift card, I stumbled upon a great little gem of a musician from Quebec Pascal Picard. I hope you'll enjoy this connection. Another one is Beck's latest.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KyaMev6p6qs&feature=PlayList&p=1F33B9D0EAC722E0&playnext=1&playnext_from=PL&index=2

It's a New Puppy

This is Mia, she a new arrival on the mountain.

Our neighbours, Jill and Simon got her Friday night.


She is a Bernese/Golden Retriever cross and is 9 weeks old. She is the cutest mellowest arrival we have had here on the mountain for at least two years.


This is Jill, the proud Momma just hours after Mia's arrival.

Jill and Simon have a beautiful male Bernese called Cody, they hope to have some puppies in a year.

Who said Dogs don't watch TV

My two friends, Molly and Brando who are generally stuck to me like glue have really gotten into TV. Not just TV but they like to Skype as well. I think it's because of the resolution available now on the screens. Over the past year they have gone from barking occasionally at movement to actually going nuts over what they see.

Last fall we replaced our dead TV with a higher resolution 42" LCD Samsung. The other thing we did was change our cable package, figuring that we were going to be stuck inside more because of my health condition. Both ideas have been good but there has been a side effect with our four legged friends.

We can't watch the Dog Whisperer, the Westminster Dog Show, anything with dogs, cats or creatures that move. Yes that includes some people, they do sit quietly while Suhana Marchand is doing the news on CBC News Network, but bark at the weather man, (with due cause) Nancy Grace and Joy Behar. I can't blame them really, maybe it's because we start barking ourselves at those two.

Recently Brie posted a great dog treat commercial on her blog. Brando and Molly went nuts and Brando tried desperately to attack the computer. I told Brie and said I would tape him next time I ran it. However I didn't realise Brando like many of us doesn't like reruns. He did not react the same during a second viewing. What was funny was he did pay attention throughout the ad and followed the dog treat through the air as it flew towards a dog mouth.

I combined some footage and came up with a Mr. Brando video.



The dogs have also reviewed 'The Hurt Locker' and agree with the academy. Molly and Brando give 'The Hurt Locker' two very big Paws UP.

Speaking of Movies

I've been trying to figure this out for a few days. Actually it crossed my mind more than a few months ago.

What's up with Hollywood? I know I sit up on a mountain but how come the best movies I've seen since last fall are animated and believe me I like to watch movies. I find the stories better, more creative, fresher and original.

The new CGI technology is amazing, the backgrounds and scenes are beautiful. They don't ever seemed to be constrained. If you can imagine it, you can create it. Some of these are for kids and some of them are too much for little kids. Some of the humour goes over small ones heads and is obviously aimed at the adult in the room.

No, I haven't seen Avatar yet, and probably won't until the 'buzz' is gone.

Here's my list of latest favourites.

Up - by Pixar/Disney http://adisney.go.com/disneyvide/animatedfilms/up/

9 - by Rob Marshall http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/9_(2009_film)

Monsters vs Aliens by Dreamworks http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0892782/

Ice Age Dawn of the Dinosaurs by Blue Sky Studios http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ice_Age:_Dawn_of_the_Dinosaurs

Have some fun and try these movies.

Here's a Little Movie

This a little movie I did using iMovie,
on the new iMac. It's from a group of
photos I found in some old photo album.
It only took about forty minutes and
was a lot of fun.

Going Postal

For the past few days I've been meaning to sit down write about the 'Mail Service.'






It's not that I don't appreciate Canada Post but really what are they doing?

After hearing on the News about postal rates going up I felt I had to comment.

First though I am going to back track a bit before getting right to the issue. When my Mother died I had to send some items back east. Photo Albums, Framed Photos and small Artwork pieces which I carefully packed up into 9 parcels. Seven were going to Scarbeerea in Ontario and 2 to Calgary Alberta. Each of these parcels weighed about 27 pounds. I used UPS, not my favourite courier but reasonable. I figured why not, it was getting closer to Christmas and I was pretty sure Canada Post would be clogged up and just as expensive.

Here's the deal, the 2 packages that went to Calgary weighed almost 50 pounds and cost about $27.00. They were delivered to the door within 10 days going ground.

Here's where it gets interesting, Norm and Helen sent our girls a little package about 6"x4" and 5" high. The little parcel contained a couple of gift cards and really nice luggage tags and weighed at worst 1/4 pound. They were charged $11.50 by Canada Post. This parcel was small enough to actually fit in our mail box at the end of the street. It could also have been placed in the parcel box. Did our through rain, snow or sleet people do this?

No, the lazy bugger just scrawled a door knob hanger and stuck into our mail box with the other mail. This meant we had to drive into town to pick it up.

Here's the rant. Canada Post is going to raise the postal rates for two Reasons. This is what it boils down to...."Canada Post is delivering less mail to more addresses, so rates have to go up."

What the heck does that mean? There are more addresses in Canada than before...Okay, the nation is growing. Canada Post is delivering less mail than before because people are using UPS, FEDEX and Purolator because they are faster, cheaper,as well as pick up and deliver to your front door.

Here's the first question....How do you deliver less mail to more locations? Here's the second question...How is less mail going to more locations justify a hike in postal rates?

Did we just get screwed again by the Post Office and more so by the powerful Postal Union.....?

Less for more, great concept maybe we should go into work and ask for a raise and less work to do.

Sorry, I'm a bit confused...........

A New Year

Well here we are in a New Year, New Decade and possibly New Adventures.

There's a couple of things I would like to see cleared up this decade.

No it's not the obvious, of course not I'm the one writing this blog.

Leading up to and including the Christmas Season, which is the traditional time of giving and generosity, I almost went mental with demands from Charities that bombarded the TV Airways.

We should give to Charities, but really can't they possibly give a slightly more positive spin on what they do. They should be able to show the work they are doing and how it is positively effecting the lives of the children, families and animals they claim to help. Instead they bombard us with sad faced children, sad faced animals, dirty, fly encrusted visions of the creatures they want us to help. In background Sarah or Somebody else moans a sad song. (by the way even when Sarah sings a happy song it sounds a bit sad, thank God it isn't Jan singing we'd all write cheques and then slit our wrists)

Here's a weird and wild concept, why don't you Bureaucratic Driven Charities show some of the positive work you have done! Show us how our donations have help put smiles on these kids faces, clothes on their backs, water in their cups, and food in their bellies. Show us how the SPCA has helped heal some of the abuse a dog has endured. How these animals have been adopted out and become happy family members.

I have been surrounded this holiday by 3 rescued dogs, that now live happy well fed lives. They get all the water they need and get to go out and free range poop all over my driveway. That's what these guys have to show!

Sorry readers but I really have had it with these charities! My Mother was a victim of their advertising technique. Twice a month she was bombarded by the SPCA, WWF, WIF, Blind Baseball Players with Lukemia Association, The Lame Lawyers of BC, The Almost Deaf Fire Fighters Society, American Society to Save the Fucking Red Woods, The Canadian Society to Save Maple Trees and the Really Conservative Party of Canada.

Show us what you can do, what you have done and then maybe we will feel good about sending you a yearly donation. Make us believe that we are not feeding your bureaucratic machine.