Dreams Confuse ME

Dreams confuse me. Lately I've been having very complex dreams. They have multiple characters, elaborate backgrounds and odd themes.



I have given up trying to figure them out. I usually wake up wondering where did that come from but I have realised that it doesn't matter. The one thing I do know for sure is when I don't dream as much, my paintings come easier. I'm looking forward to some dreamless nights because I have two canvasses ready to go and I would rather dump my energy into them than dreams.

This is an example of a one hour dream I had this morning between 8am and 9am. I call it 'The Morning Bedtime Story'.

'The Morning Bedtime Story'

This morning I fell back asleep after the Danish Princess got up. It was around 7:55 when she left the room. Before she left she pulled the drapes closed. This combined with the overcast gray skies allowed me to return to sleep. This is unlike me. I fell into a solid and heavy REM dream state.

In one short hour, I became a Taxidermy Apprentice. Who was the Taxidermy Expert you may ask. Well of course it was Carson Kressley from 'Queer Eye for the Straight Guy' fame. Who ran this House of Taxiderny? Joan Cusack of course.

Wait it gets weirder. 'The House of Taxidermy' was located in a run down, filthy, dusty, old house filled with live birds of all sorts, dogs and scabby cats. All apparently happy that we didn't specialize in animals. It was a Disney like hovel with creaky uneven floors, every horizontal surface was covered with papers and debris. Quite like my own studio at times but much worse.

The actual work was done in the basement, which of course had an old work bench cluttered with tools. An exposed light bulb hung from the open floor joists swaying slowly back and forth as you moved about the concrete space. Open wooden stairs ran up to a back door landing where the bodies and body parts usually arrived. It's screen door was of course slightly ajar to allow the animals to enter and exit the house.

Most of the time Joan Cusak walked around muttering and waving papers in the air as she dealt with people on the phone. One caller was upset that Cusack hadn't left the house to inquire about their well being after they were stuck in the muddy field next to the Taxidermy House. Cusack's response was quite pointed. "You got your self into that mess, yes I saw you from the kitchen window. Why the fuck would I run to your aid? I'm running a business here, not an idiot retrieval charity!"

At this point, I attended to my apprenticeship. Following Carson's vague instructions I started to remove most of the bones out of the arm of a cadaver. I didn't know what to fill the cavity with. Carson later suggested rocks. I said I thought the arm would look too bumpy. I then suggested spray foam insulation which he thought would be a good idea as long as I didn't over inflate the body. Finding that I had more questions, I searched for a place to put the body. I didn't want to leave it in the middle of the concrete floor, in case someone would trip or step on it while I was gone. I dragged the tarp under the open stairs and went to find my teacher.

Passing through the landing, two scabby cats entered and rubbed against my legs as I passed into the kitchen. At the same time Carson was answering the front door. He model-walked down the hall, one hand on a hip and the other holding an object wrapped in a towel. He announced "We have a head, CATCH, we will have your first real lesson. Come with me to the taxidermy station." Clutching the head I followed him to the basement.

"Lesson one, where will you find the green surgical towels to place under the head before we start the procedure?" I looked around stunned, there were piles of rags everywhere, some folded some just piled in heaps. 'I don't know, there?' I said then pointed to a pile of folded rags to his left.
"NO, you ninny, I didn't spend all that time organizing this place just to get stupid answers from you. Think!"
He was using a Diva voice and waving his left hand, index finger pointing out as if he was painting a picture with it.

The head started to squirm in the towel. I comforted it, 'He's not angry with you, everything will be alright.' Turning to Carson, I said ' You're upsetting the head, please calm down. Will these surgical greens be alright?" There was a heap to his right. "Perfect, end of lesson one!"

That was when the Danish princess enter the bedroom and and said, "I made breakfast are you awake?" Needless to say I rose from my bed quickly and staggered out to the kitchen. I did not want to spend another minute with Carson, Joan and the squirmy upset head.

Sweat Dreams everyone and just say no to drugs, unless of course they are keeping you alive so that you can paint and write blogs.