Promises & Warnings

I have come to the conclusion that if elected I propose a new law. The new law would make it mandatory for all campaign promises to include a warning or disclaimer statement.

These warnings should be similar to the warnings we get with medication or as seen on TV drug ads.

Here's a sample from my Ramipril medication.

"Do not take while breast feeding or when pregnant. Tell doctor your complete medical history. Drink fluids and avoid getting too hot. May make you dizzy. Use caution while driving. Caution; Be careful not to stand up too quickly. Tell doctor if bothersome cough develops & persists. Tell Dr. of slow pulse. Avoid potassium salt. It is important to check blood pressure regularly."

The warning writers try to cover all the bases for drug manufacturers. If you complain about their product, their response is "Did you read the warning information included in the package? You didn't? Well then it's not our problem, you should read warning labels." Simply put, "Screw you, you weren't paying attention!"

A Conservative political campaign warning should read something like the following.

"Any promise made in this election will be implemented, if we get a majority and in five years after balancing the pending new budget. Implementation will take place when and if the party wins a second majority. Implementation will take place only if and when a second budget containing the promise is passed. Promises either made or implied during the election campaign may be subject to change with or without notice. The party reserves the right to ignore any disappointment created by this promise. If depressed by the lack of implementation of promises, please line up to see your doctor."

A Liberal warning would look something like the following.

"Any promises expressed or implied during this election campaign will be implemented, if we form a majority government and or get approval from the other parties in the house of commons. Each promise will be sent to the new Standing Committee on Current Promises, and be evaluated prior to implementation. Promises made during this election will be implemented only after we have a good look at the previous government's books. Evaluation of these books may cause nausea and belt tightening. Belt tightening may cause dizziness and loss of promises. If this occurs line up to see a doctor at a local clinic"

An NDP campaign promise warning would be similar.

"Any promises expressed or implied during this election will be implemented, if we form a majority government. This may cause general numbness and freezing over in hell. Claiming to be a member of the Conservative Party would be recommended should the USA invade due to the election of a true socialist government."

If we don't read the warnings, the parties can just do the same thing as the drug companies. "Screw you, you weren't paying attention!"

I just realized something, they say that anyway. I just wasted a half an hour and some of your time. I guess I could run for office after all.

To quote the Tim Meadows in the movie Walk Hard; "If erection lasts longer than four hours ……….call more ladies."

Now that's a Warning Label.