The Battle Heats Up!

In an effort to intimidate me, the Rat Army sent a Squad of two gray rats and one black on a mission in broad daylight Sunday.



I was sitting in front of the house, soaking up a rare sunny break when the Rat Squad showed up.

To my amazement the three rats converged to a single spot in the flower bed in front of the house. There was a skuffle and then they fled. A poor little field mouse lay there twitching during his last moments of life.

The Rat Squad had broken his neck.

Needless to say their tactic worked, I was intimidated for two reasons. First, I had never heard of Rats doing anything like that. I had seen Rat attacks in movies but never in real life. Secondly, it confirms my theory that these Rats are working together and that is why it is so difficult to catch them.

Could they have sacrificed the first Soldier Rat to learn how the trap actually works? That is a frightening concept.

I will not relent, these Rats have to be stopped.

The Battle Continues

I captured a foot soldier for the Rat Army on Canada Day.


Alas he battled well, but he has gone to meet the big Rat in the sky.

There is an amount of guilt associated with this but I did dispatched him in a quick and humane (or ratmane) manner.


My brother once said to me if you see one mouse, there is a minimum of six. So using this information I reset the trap. This Rat Army is amazing, they have figured out how to take the bate without setting off the trap. This has happened two or three more times.

In a meager attempt to out think the Rat Army I placed a sticky glue trap under the live trap and bated it again.

Foiled Again. I now believe I am battling a Team or Squad from the Rat Army. Last night my friend Lee mentioned that up north when facing a foe as clever as I have the locals will actually place the bate below the trigger. When the Rat approaches the bate his head sets off the trigger.

This will be my next approach.

Battlefield Driveway

"What are we going to do today Brain?" says Pinky.

Brain replies,
"Same thing we do every night, Try and Take over the World."










It's a damp overcast morning. I have returned from the trenches wounded and disheartened, my battle still rages on. For the past number of weeks I have been doing battle with a Rat. I feel like I'm stuck in a twisted version of The Secret of NIMH or Pinky and The Brain.

During one of our cold snaps earlier this spring, a local wood pile Rat decided that climbing up the right front tire and up under the hood of our Honda Element would keep him warm. In late March, I started to notice a smell in the car. At first it wasn't too bad but as the temperature outside climbed the smell became worse. Initially I could not figure out the cause.

By Mother's Day I had to drive with the windows open and before I could drive anywhere I had to air out the car. On Mother's Day, I talked with my friend Lee about the odour. Lee's son Andrew had a similar problem with his truck, he suggested that my Pollen Filters had gone mouldy. The next morning I pulled out my car manual and located the filters. They were behind the glove box. I hadn't really used the glove box since we put the insurance into it in August.

When I opened the glove box, it was filled with torn tissue paper and Rat Shit. Gross Out! After pulling the filters out I discovered that the Rat had been using them as a toilet. Needless to say I cleaned everything out and bought new filters, figuring that I had solved the problem. No smells.

About a week later, the smell started to come back. The Rat was back. Off to the hardware store for Rat Traps. I got home and painted them black so they would blend in with the shadow under the car. For the first few days I didn't set the tramps, just baited them with peanut butter and waited. The bait was taken each night. I finally set the traps. The Bloody Rat figured out how to steal the bait without setting off the trap. Just to rub it in the Rat would set off one trap and then take the bait from both traps.

I was livid, back to the hardware store. I bought Glue Traps, not the nicest method to catch vermin but effective. I set the glue trap out and waited. In the morning I discovered that HE had dragged the glue trap out of the way and climbed up the tire into the car. I formulated another plan.

I buried the traps into the gravel, set them and covered the snapper parts with top soil. Again the Rat out smarted me.

Howard my neighbour lent me a Live Trap. The bate sits in the middle of the device on a teeter table switch. When the teeter table is touched doors at each end drop and are held in place by bars. The animal can't escape.

I HAVE BEEN OUT SMARTED AGAIN. Is this bloody Rat related to The Brain? He's single handedly Taking Over My World.

More Rat stories to come.

"By Grabthar's Hammer I will be avenged!"

Statistic Nightmares

It's little wonder Buddy looks sad, we both heard the same statistics.





I was watching CFAX radio this morning when Micheal Campbel did a commentary of a recent study comparing Federal Employment growth/wages to Private Sector growth/wages from 1999 to 2009.

Needless to say I immediately got a migraine. Once it cleared up I went on line to check some facts.

According to CD Howe, from 1999 to 2009 the Federal Civilian Salaries grew at an annual rate of 7%. In cash amounts the wages went up 90% from 12.8 Billion to 24.4 Billion and the economy grew 55% over the same time period. The workforce of Federal employees grew 35% and the Private employees grew 11% over this time as well. The average wage increases Federally for this period grew to 59% compared to Private Sector growth of 30%.

The average Federal Government employee salary reached $94,000 compared to $47,500 for Private Sector workers from 1999 to 2009.

I have to agree with Mr. Campbel, if this is Conservative and Liberal restraint then give the rest of us some. Really this comes down to "Do as I say not as I do."

You have to ask, Where is the explanation?

Just my opinion but really………………….

Hummingbird Nation

Here's a little video about Hummingbirds set to a piece of music by Jeff Beck.

Wieners, Republicans and Gun Toting Jihadists.

The night before last I watched a bit of the Rachel Maddow Show. Yes the majority of the show was about Wiener Gate. She was busy comparing Republicans who have lied, done inappropriate things and still manage to keep their jobs and are not forced to resign. Democrats, it seems are given a rougher ride when they exhibit their stupidity.

Not belittle the situation Mr. Wiener find himself because after all he is not the only idiot that Emailed, Facebooked, or Twittered his privates into the internet ether. How stupid are you? Would you leave a pair of shit stained underwear out for the company to see when you invite them over for dinner? No, I think not. Why, because no body wants to see your dirty laundry or find out you like to be spanked with a hot waffle iron. It's just creepy.

I digress, I really wanted to talk about Guns and Republicans. Apparently the Republicans voted down a bill that would require a mandatory background check before the purchase of automatic or semi automatic weapons. These same Republicans helped create the 'No Fly List'.

Here's the thing, it was pointed out that apparently these suspected terrorists can't fly but they could take a car, bus or train to one of the big American Gun Shows and buy an Automatic Weapon without a background check. To prove the point there has been a video posted.

Here's a link. http://www.fixgunchecks.org/detail/alqaeda-video


Ya gotta love America, can it get any weirder?

How to get Lost.

I enjoy technology, most everyone I know embraces some form of technology. I like flat screen TVs, good stereos, my Nano, Digital Cameras my Blu Ray Player. Lots of stuff, fridges, stoves microwaves even my car.




I have a problem with GPS devices though. Get a map, it's old technology but at least you'll have a sense of where you are going. You can actually Google a location and figure out a course, then use your map. That's what I did last time I was on the mainland and had to go to Coquitlam.

I'm not saying a GPS doesn't have a purpose cause it does. When you have an accident GPS can send your co-ordinates to EMS. The police can track stolen cars, cel phones, and airplanes, all good things that is if it gets the location right.

For years I've heard 'Men don't ask for directions', which is true. Some lazy guy came up with the idea to eliminate the need to ask for directions. Hence the creation of GPS. The only thing that GPS doesn't do is say "Hey Idiot, you're Fucking Lost, you should have asked for direction or brought your map." Then it would be great.

Why am I on about GPS, well here's the thing. Yesterday I spent an hour and a half scrambling through the bush with The Duck and the TCD Hat . The Duck and I had called up the TCD Hat because we needed to know if this sunny knoll we found was in our new park or not.

Now this little adventure would have been fun if I was still 12 or 13 but at 58 scrambling over bush, through wild raspberry cane and dead falls with crotch pieces snags seemed not to fit into the fun category. It soon fell into the WTF zone after the first GPS reading. So much for GPS and the phrase, "We're almost on top of the pin only another 10 metres in this direction."

It was all good for ten minutes and then it wore a little thin. "We're not in park, the park is that way." By the time we found the eastern park boundary we had scrambled through about 3 1/2 acres of dense vegetation only to find (at least in my opinion) we were lost. Now that's when the GPS should have told us, "Hey you idiots you're fucking lost in the woods again."

You know how we got back into the park? We walked west towards the sun, that's how. The GP fucking S didn't tell us to do that. Fifty year old Cub Scout training taught us that. So here's my theory, if you want to get really lost in the woods use your GPS. If you want to go into the woods and find your way out, bring your cel phone, look for landmarks, check the sun and bring plastic ribbons to mark your path. If you keep finding your ribbons, you're walking in circle so make the phone call.

"Hi Honey, I'll be a while, I'm lost in the fucking woods again."

Just so you feel you have learnt something, a TCD Hat is a Tilley/Crocodile Dundee Hat.

Be of Good Cheer

"Be of good cheer," speaks the moderate voice in my head, "Be of good cheer."

The full fog of conservative ideology has swept across the land and Senor Hardcore has won the majority he greedily desired.

"Be of good cheer," speaks the moderate voice in my head, "There still is a future to be made."

It will be an interesting next four years. Four years for the NDP to establish themselves as a viable opposition and stifle the socialist fear that still lingers from the sixties. The sixties when my generation was at odds with the conservatives and wanted everyone to be equal and stand under the new NDP banner developed by Tommy Douglas and the CCF . The sixties when our conservative parents held John Diefenbaker to sky and called out for God and Queen to, "Bless him for he is our Leader."

Yes the sixties when the Liberals decided that the middle ground had to be somewhere between Right Wing and Left Wing. When P.E.T. rose from the back benches and became Pierre Elliot Trudeau, the new Leader of the Liberal Party and took the country by storm.

What's this I see? Is history or histiore repeating itself? Who is that I see rising from the back benches? Is that?…….. Is that?….. why yes it is. Justin Trudeau is still standing after this massive defeat of the Liberal Party and appears to headed our way. The reins of leadership lay on the ground, will he take them to grip and and bring the Liberal Phoenix to flight?

He has four years to build a party that truly reflects the moderate, social conscience of our nation. A party without the corruption of past politics not run by the boys behind the closed doors.

We can only wait and see. It's only four years,a lot can change in four years.

Promises & Warnings

I have come to the conclusion that if elected I propose a new law. The new law would make it mandatory for all campaign promises to include a warning or disclaimer statement.

These warnings should be similar to the warnings we get with medication or as seen on TV drug ads.

Here's a sample from my Ramipril medication.

"Do not take while breast feeding or when pregnant. Tell doctor your complete medical history. Drink fluids and avoid getting too hot. May make you dizzy. Use caution while driving. Caution; Be careful not to stand up too quickly. Tell doctor if bothersome cough develops & persists. Tell Dr. of slow pulse. Avoid potassium salt. It is important to check blood pressure regularly."

The warning writers try to cover all the bases for drug manufacturers. If you complain about their product, their response is "Did you read the warning information included in the package? You didn't? Well then it's not our problem, you should read warning labels." Simply put, "Screw you, you weren't paying attention!"

A Conservative political campaign warning should read something like the following.

"Any promise made in this election will be implemented, if we get a majority and in five years after balancing the pending new budget. Implementation will take place when and if the party wins a second majority. Implementation will take place only if and when a second budget containing the promise is passed. Promises either made or implied during the election campaign may be subject to change with or without notice. The party reserves the right to ignore any disappointment created by this promise. If depressed by the lack of implementation of promises, please line up to see your doctor."

A Liberal warning would look something like the following.

"Any promises expressed or implied during this election campaign will be implemented, if we form a majority government and or get approval from the other parties in the house of commons. Each promise will be sent to the new Standing Committee on Current Promises, and be evaluated prior to implementation. Promises made during this election will be implemented only after we have a good look at the previous government's books. Evaluation of these books may cause nausea and belt tightening. Belt tightening may cause dizziness and loss of promises. If this occurs line up to see a doctor at a local clinic"

An NDP campaign promise warning would be similar.

"Any promises expressed or implied during this election will be implemented, if we form a majority government. This may cause general numbness and freezing over in hell. Claiming to be a member of the Conservative Party would be recommended should the USA invade due to the election of a true socialist government."

If we don't read the warnings, the parties can just do the same thing as the drug companies. "Screw you, you weren't paying attention!"

I just realized something, they say that anyway. I just wasted a half an hour and some of your time. I guess I could run for office after all.

To quote the Tim Meadows in the movie Walk Hard; "If erection lasts longer than four hours ……….call more ladies."

Now that's a Warning Label.

Election Trash and Bash

I got up way too early this morning 5 am. I had the misfortune of watching Mr. Harpy call the election for May 2. You may ask why misfortune? I will try and explain my position, by not just saying I think the whole thing is just stupid, even though it is.

What I saw this morning was a great example of when power and ego circumvents logic. I watched bemused as Mr. Harpy basically pushed the fear based agenda that global governments for years perpetuated to control (us) the unwashed masses.(example: Nazi Germany, Lybia, Iran, Iraq, France, Great Britain, etc. get the point) Maybe Hugo Chavez is almost right, there is no life on Mars not because of capitalism but because fear based politics.

Instead of just translating into English and into French, we should of had someone translating into Plain Speak. I think it would have gone something like this.

Harpy, 'They are bad and we are good. We've been doing a good job and they have ruined it for everyone. If we don't get a majority, Canada will go to hell quickly and fall into confusion. You, will loose everything because the Liberals, NDP and Bloc are all liars. Don't listen to them, they're sneaky and liars. Look at the state of the world, disasters, financial crisis loom over us again and there is trouble in the middle east. If you don't vote for my party, all these things will happen here in Canada.'

Fear based politics.

Wouldn't it have been nice to actually see Mr. Harpy come out and say he was excited to go into another election. Here is an opportunity for him to speak positively about the work they have done and the potential work they will do in the future. But NO, he couldn't do that.

I managed to watch the other party leaders speak to our huddled masses. Mr. Agnat, seemed excited about the challenge his team would face and seemed focussed on trying to make us believe that the Liberals could form the next government. However, he is going to get cranky having to answer the coalition question over and over and over again. Mr. Cumlayton sounded like Barak Obama wrote his speech. Lizzie May appeared to be getting messages from the Green Man while speaking and I almost thought she was being translated because there seemed to be a disconnect between her words and her mouth. Probably just a technical problem, because she wasn't allowed to speak until Mr. Cumlayton had finished and probably got ahead of herself.

Actually the best thing this morning came from Mr. Cumlayton and Ms May. First, Cumlayton said, 'Ottawa is broken and we now have a chance to fix it.' Then Lizzie said, 'It is important for us to vote, don't let the scare tactics keep you home and let's put an end to attack ad politics.'

I might even vote for both of those reasons. The other thing I would like to see is Mr. Harpy red faced. He can blame the other parties as much as he wants for this election but in truth it is his ego and greed for power that has fuelled this situation and nothing else.

Did I mention I think the whole thing is stupid. That's just one man's opinion and it happens to be mine.

The Middle East, Charlie Sheen and Hockey

There has been a number of stories that have stolen the headlines for the past few weeks. Egypt, Libya, the Middle East in General and good ol' party guy Charlie Sheen. The first few are justified and Charlie is like watching the a train wreck. Now the Newsroom has added the Charra hockey hit.

That was the last straw on my Camel's back.

How many times do we have to see this hit? This reminds me of when the Diver hit the board attempting a back somersault and smashed face and then fell like a rock. It also reminds me of last years Luge accident at the Olympic warm up runs. Gruesome!

One step forward and there would not be an issue to report. One step back and there would be no issue. If you can stomach the video watch closely, this was not a hit from behind, this was not a head shot. Charra checked Pacioretty into the boards like any defenseman would. It was not a crushing bodycheck.

What I can see in the video is Max Pacioretty leaving his feet at the wrong place at the wrong time. The dangerous edge holding up the glass wall was and is an accident waiting to happen. This is a design flaw that has to be corrected in every pro and non pro rink.

If you want to see a deliberate head shot, watch the Todd Bertuzzi sucker punch on Steve Moore. Now that is a legal matter not the Pacioretty's hit.

Let's change gears and talk about the waste of airtime used to cover Charlie Sheen. Obviously, some Newsrooms think this is important stuff. Some think that this more important than the Middle East or at least it appears that way. The thing is that the coverage really isn't that good or coherent.

In one story an American Station interviewed the Porn Star that Charlie locked in a closet in New York or was it the bathroom. I've heard both. For some reason that I can't understand they felt it necessary to insert a shot of the Porn Star having Botox shots in her face. The voice over stated that "She was so upset with Mr. Sheen's actions she had to have Plastic Surgery." I think they had this clip and during editing someone said you better do a voice over here, what can you make up. It made no sense, and did not really have anything to do with the real story but they used it anyway.

What did I learn from this? I can now use this information when the Danish Princess gets upset or when I know get upset. How you may ask?

Danish Princess, "That really makes me upset!"
Response, "How Mad? Mad enough to have Plastic Surgery?"
Danish Princess, "No!"
Response, "Then, you really aren't that upset, then are you?"

Yes it's the simple stupid things in life that makes it worthwhile getting up each day.

The News lately has upset me but not enough to………………….

Dreams Confuse ME

Dreams confuse me. Lately I've been having very complex dreams. They have multiple characters, elaborate backgrounds and odd themes.



I have given up trying to figure them out. I usually wake up wondering where did that come from but I have realised that it doesn't matter. The one thing I do know for sure is when I don't dream as much, my paintings come easier. I'm looking forward to some dreamless nights because I have two canvasses ready to go and I would rather dump my energy into them than dreams.

This is an example of a one hour dream I had this morning between 8am and 9am. I call it 'The Morning Bedtime Story'.

'The Morning Bedtime Story'

This morning I fell back asleep after the Danish Princess got up. It was around 7:55 when she left the room. Before she left she pulled the drapes closed. This combined with the overcast gray skies allowed me to return to sleep. This is unlike me. I fell into a solid and heavy REM dream state.

In one short hour, I became a Taxidermy Apprentice. Who was the Taxidermy Expert you may ask. Well of course it was Carson Kressley from 'Queer Eye for the Straight Guy' fame. Who ran this House of Taxiderny? Joan Cusack of course.

Wait it gets weirder. 'The House of Taxidermy' was located in a run down, filthy, dusty, old house filled with live birds of all sorts, dogs and scabby cats. All apparently happy that we didn't specialize in animals. It was a Disney like hovel with creaky uneven floors, every horizontal surface was covered with papers and debris. Quite like my own studio at times but much worse.

The actual work was done in the basement, which of course had an old work bench cluttered with tools. An exposed light bulb hung from the open floor joists swaying slowly back and forth as you moved about the concrete space. Open wooden stairs ran up to a back door landing where the bodies and body parts usually arrived. It's screen door was of course slightly ajar to allow the animals to enter and exit the house.

Most of the time Joan Cusak walked around muttering and waving papers in the air as she dealt with people on the phone. One caller was upset that Cusack hadn't left the house to inquire about their well being after they were stuck in the muddy field next to the Taxidermy House. Cusack's response was quite pointed. "You got your self into that mess, yes I saw you from the kitchen window. Why the fuck would I run to your aid? I'm running a business here, not an idiot retrieval charity!"

At this point, I attended to my apprenticeship. Following Carson's vague instructions I started to remove most of the bones out of the arm of a cadaver. I didn't know what to fill the cavity with. Carson later suggested rocks. I said I thought the arm would look too bumpy. I then suggested spray foam insulation which he thought would be a good idea as long as I didn't over inflate the body. Finding that I had more questions, I searched for a place to put the body. I didn't want to leave it in the middle of the concrete floor, in case someone would trip or step on it while I was gone. I dragged the tarp under the open stairs and went to find my teacher.

Passing through the landing, two scabby cats entered and rubbed against my legs as I passed into the kitchen. At the same time Carson was answering the front door. He model-walked down the hall, one hand on a hip and the other holding an object wrapped in a towel. He announced "We have a head, CATCH, we will have your first real lesson. Come with me to the taxidermy station." Clutching the head I followed him to the basement.

"Lesson one, where will you find the green surgical towels to place under the head before we start the procedure?" I looked around stunned, there were piles of rags everywhere, some folded some just piled in heaps. 'I don't know, there?' I said then pointed to a pile of folded rags to his left.
"NO, you ninny, I didn't spend all that time organizing this place just to get stupid answers from you. Think!"
He was using a Diva voice and waving his left hand, index finger pointing out as if he was painting a picture with it.

The head started to squirm in the towel. I comforted it, 'He's not angry with you, everything will be alright.' Turning to Carson, I said ' You're upsetting the head, please calm down. Will these surgical greens be alright?" There was a heap to his right. "Perfect, end of lesson one!"

That was when the Danish princess enter the bedroom and and said, "I made breakfast are you awake?" Needless to say I rose from my bed quickly and staggered out to the kitchen. I did not want to spend another minute with Carson, Joan and the squirmy upset head.

Sweat Dreams everyone and just say no to drugs, unless of course they are keeping you alive so that you can paint and write blogs.

A Boy in the Balloon Walks into a Bar.

Look into his eyes..........

I think he is calling Bullshit.











This posting deals with two things, one is
'The Boy in the Balloon News Story' and the second is 'The Sled Dog Culling Story'. These two stories are conjoined in my mind for some reason.

Here's the deal, I have been watching the news patiently regarding the "Culling of the Sled Dogs Story.' I have been watching it and looking for facts. I am not seeing many thus far.

It reminds me of watching Suhana Meharchand on CBC News Network standing in front a monitor looking horrified as a giant silver hot air balloon was blown across southern California supposedly carrying a young boy possibly to his death. This story went on for hours, Suhana imaging the worst and wondering out loud what this young boy was thinking about as the wind blew him across the country.

Here we had a situation where 'supposedly' a boy had climbed into a balloon and then gone adrift. The Local Police, The State Police, The Highway Patrol, Air Traffic Controllers, EMS and Fire Officials were all called out to this supposed emergency. Better safe than sorry I presume. News Rooms from across North America and the World watched, waited in horror for the end of this drama. We all know the ending of this story, there was never any boy in the balloon and now his parents are in jail. Has it been mentioned again or was a lesson learned?

A guy walks into a government office, he looks tired and frazzled. He wants to be compensated for stress related to a job situation(Don't we all?). A job situation that happened almost a full year ago. He pleads his case and goes into horrific detail. The government agents are appalled; THIS IS SHOCKING. Does the man have any proof? Can anyone verify his claims, are there pictures, does he have a witness? The bodies are buried in a mass grave, in the woods, in the mountains. The man is the only one that knows where the bodies are, that's if he remembers clearly after all this stress, caused by this event that happened a year ago.

The government agents give the man some money for the PTSD to ease his pain. The agents call the SPCA, the NEWS and then the Provincial Government. The Province wants an inquiry, the SPCA says it's not their fault, they heard about it after the fact, The News causes a frenzy. There are death threats, there are claims and counter claims all hell has broken loose. The top two stories on all the News Channels are 'Rioting in Egypt' and 'The Sled Dog Culling'.

What's the difference? In the Egypt Story we can see the rioting, we can hear the gunfire. In the Sled Dog Story, a guy walks into a Government Office and claims he had to kill a bunch of healthy sled dogs and provides a bunch of Peckinpah like gruesome details. Where is the evidence?

If this is true, I am appalled. Until the actual facts are in I'm not going to speculate and I am not going to get whipped into a frenzy by a bunch of "He Said, She Said, They Said, We all Said" CRAP.

We don't even know what this guy looks like, everyone knows what his boss looks like, now is that right? The GUY's story seems pretty fluid, this morning the dogs killed were old and sick, at first they were healthy, at first there was a hundred and today it was fifty or sixty.

Let's just slow down a bit and wait for actual details before we go out start giving out death threats. Besides that everytime they show the sled dogs on TV, our dogs go crazy and it's causing me a lot of stress.

Once into the Breach

Once more into the breach, sober and smoke free for a full ten days.

Ouch..........

Two weeks ago my Darling Danish Princess brought home the flu. She picked up her copy of the NEW FLU from Shoppers Drugmart in Sooke. Apparently they were handing it out for free with every purchase of toilet paper. Fortunate for us that it coincided with the purchase of said toilet paper.

The night it hit the Princess, I had prepared a wonderful meal of prawns, rice and veggies. There was some concern that I had tried to poison her with one faulty prawn. (I would have used at least two if this were true.) Food poisoning or was it the flu? We had to wait and see. Gestation period, 2 to 3 days is what I figured.

I actually found the whole thing quite amusing at first. While she suffered on the couch, I sat in our big window listening to music, smoking cigarettes and having a glass or three of wine. I was pondering nature and my life style. A life style that actually was pretty good in many respects except for the bad habit portion. I don't mean the sitting on my butt looking out the window and listening to music portion. "If only I could get a sign or a gentle nudge in the right direction," I thought, "Changing my bad habits isn't as easy it used to be."

I received my (not so) gentle nudge Friday night, and then it kept up nudging for another 3 days. I am glad to say I managed to loose a few pounds and haven't had a smoke or a drink since then.

I am of two minds on this current adventure into smoke free sobriety.

The angel on my shoulder is telling me I am doing the right thing and this is good for my body. I will have a bright and shiny future filled with hikes, walks, gardening, prolonged life and happiness.

The other half of the equation says, you hate fucking hikes and walks unless you have a destination in mind. You do like gardening when you are not painting but even that can get tedious. Quitting smoking and drinking isn't going to make it any sunnier or brighter. You've done damage to yourself for all these years and this isn't going to fix it. This will probably kill you, your body could go into revolt and devour itself. Are you nuts?

Whose fucking idea was this anyway! Am I being forced by society to clean up my miserable act so I don't offend the norm. If I do this will I be able to criticise everyone's life style? No, I think not, nobody likes criticism anyway that's why 'they' need people like me around! Whose fucking idea was this anyway?

It was mine. Don't any of you out there claim that you convinced me to change my life style. I'll track you down and ...............

Sorry! It was my idea and I just had a moment. Don't know what came over me, OOPS.

Tom & Direction

Found this little YouTube clip of one of my favourites, Mr. Tom Waits.

He never fails to entertain me, I hope you enjoy this as much as I did.

BTTS - Money for Nothing

Censorship has been around for years. Back To The late fifties and Sixties when I was a kid, Music, TV, Radio and some Books were censored.

Yes kids, here in North America. Try to remember!






Don't you young adults remember when the US Government put warning labels on Rap CD's and all of a sudden all CD's came out with WARNING EXPLICIT LYRICS plastered on the covers.

One of my musical heros, Frank Zappa went to the meetings and fought hard to stop this kind of censorship. Frank really didn't have anything to loose because a lot of what wrote and played never made it to radio and he still sold records and CD's. It's probably not true but I'm sure he was on the NO PLAY LIST somewhere in Washington DC.

Here's the thing, if Rock/Rap/Blues or Pop music wasn't a little edgey or open to interpretation we would all be listening to elevator music. Wouldn't that be fun. This reminds me of George Carlin's Seven Words you can't say routine. It also reminds me of Lenny Bruce, even though I didn't find him that funny but he did push the boundaries of censorship.

Now here we are in week two of 2011, 57 years after I was born and what are they doing? The CBSC is censoring Dire Straits song 'Money for Nothing', a song released 20 Years Ago. Have these morons been busy for the last twenty years? What's wrong with them? Yes the word "Faggot" is not socially acceptable but either is the "C" word and less than 4 days ago I watched the movie Kick Ass where an eleven year old girl says something like, "Okay you 'C's" whose next?" Why is this okay and the lyric is not?

Everynight on TV, we can see and hear most of George Carlin's Seven Words used. In 20 years are 'THEY' going to censor all the reruns? Boy that's going to keep them busy and cost us a bunch of money because in the end we are the ones paying their salaries. Why don't we save the money or use it for something that really matters instead of paying for some "Socially, Politically, Overly Sensitive BullShit!"

Zappa and the other boundary pushes are probably shaking their heads and wondering what's really going on. I want to know if this censorship is going stick.

If they substitute another word, what are we all going think? It's like saying, 'Whatever you do don't think about elephants!'

'They Should Never Forget the Sound'

Anyone who has followed my blog for some time may have noticed that I like to take shots at the media from time to time. If this is your first visit to my blog, Yes I like to take shots at the media.






Don't get me wrong, quite often I have no complaints about the News gathers of North America. Sometimes though they strike a nerve and I have to say something. You have to ask what are they thinking? If you don't you will fall into the dumb demographic that 'they' are looking for. Tumbling down their dumb rabbit hole will force us to suffer through mediocre dramas, comedies, home reno, gardening, cooking and current affair shows.

One second please,...... I have to get off that soap box and move to my irritant of the day soap box. I would like to say I'll try and keep this brief but that would be just a lie.

As my parents aged they were bombarded by charities, con artists, 'trades' people, and others I would just call crooks. I don't think Mom and Dad were alone in this situation, otherwise The Senior Marketing Industry would not have developed to the size it has.

This morning I saw a new commercial that really set me off. Most commercials have their sound equalized to a maximum so that they sound louder than the regular programming. The volume is not increased, everything is just punched up to make the ads sound brighter and bigger. Not this ad though, it was for a NEW Hearing Aide company. They purposely flattened the sound. The pitch man talked in a well modulated tone that had no emphasis on punctuation or wording. Now this product might be useful for many, (my family members included) but the sales method was deceptive in my opinion. It actually made the viewer think their hearing was in question.

If this commercial hadn't been followed up by the Bose Wave Sound System ad, I may have actually called! Bose Wave Sound System,"I'll never forget the sound", of course you won't you bought the fucking stereo. Ever notice that the Canadian Protection Plan has the same letters as the Government run CPP and the pitch person wears an old style civil servant business suit? The new life insurance plan 'Cover Me for Life' will cover you for life by taking your money until you die. A cost of a Funeral today can be as high as TEN Thousand Dollars, if you don't sign up with a Crematorium Society and only pay about $1,500 for cremation. Yes the Federal Government allows up to a $2,500 death benefit, GOSH that would cover my cremation and my family could save up to $8,500. Save some of that for weddings and grand children or even a trip to a warmer climate where the con men speak Spanish.

Now that I am on the brink of this aging demographic, The Senior Marketing Industry is really pissing me off. There's only one thing to say, "They'll never forget the sound" of us changing channels, hanging up the phone and making a noise about their bullshit marketing ploys.

STOP TRYING TO SELL US CRAP WE DON'T NEED, STOP TRYING TAKE THE MEAGRE INCOME WE HAVE LEFT and above all STOP LYING.

OOPS There Goes Another ONE

So yesterday I watched the Under 18 Final and then the Canada Russia Game.








During the under 18 game I saw a sixteen year old execute a penalty shot that was amazing. The kid was so calm and professional you had to be amazed. He came in at good speed and then almost in slow motion pulled the goal keeper over to one side of the net and then dragged the puck back to the opposite way and basically shuffled boarded the puck into the net. The goal keeper was left facing the other way. It was Just beautiful.

The Junior Final was unfortunate. Our kids forgot rule #46 of the unwritten laws. Unless your team is leading by 3 goals and there is only 1/2 minute left on the clock you can't count the Russians out. They're going to find a way to beat you. That is why they are one of the great hockey nations in the world. Soon as you forget that and start to believe that you've got the game in the bag You Are Toast.

It was unfortunate and even more unfortunate is the amount of crap these kids are going to have to swallow for the next few days if not weeks. The over analysis of this game and THE LOSS could effect them for the rest of their lives.

In the background I can hear CBC News Network's Suhana Marchand repeating the words "Shocking Loss", "I am reeling". She is just one of many using these kind of words. I haven't heard McRae or Squire join the choir yet but I am sure they will. I think I may just avoid the news for the rest of the day and especially the sports channels. The best thing would be to duck and cover until this all blows over or at least runs out of wind.

To the Canadian Young Men involved in the game last night refer to paragraph two and remember unwritten law #46 and the old expression 'It ain't over til' the FAT Lady sings'. It hurts today, you will get over it and your future is still bright. Just keep playing the game and enjoying the wins and work through the losses, learn from both cases.

The goal tender in the photo is Jimmy TWO DOGS.....!, one of the best goal tenders in the family.