Be of Good Cheer

"Be of good cheer," speaks the moderate voice in my head, "Be of good cheer."

The full fog of conservative ideology has swept across the land and Senor Hardcore has won the majority he greedily desired.

"Be of good cheer," speaks the moderate voice in my head, "There still is a future to be made."

It will be an interesting next four years. Four years for the NDP to establish themselves as a viable opposition and stifle the socialist fear that still lingers from the sixties. The sixties when my generation was at odds with the conservatives and wanted everyone to be equal and stand under the new NDP banner developed by Tommy Douglas and the CCF . The sixties when our conservative parents held John Diefenbaker to sky and called out for God and Queen to, "Bless him for he is our Leader."

Yes the sixties when the Liberals decided that the middle ground had to be somewhere between Right Wing and Left Wing. When P.E.T. rose from the back benches and became Pierre Elliot Trudeau, the new Leader of the Liberal Party and took the country by storm.

What's this I see? Is history or histiore repeating itself? Who is that I see rising from the back benches? Is that?…….. Is that?….. why yes it is. Justin Trudeau is still standing after this massive defeat of the Liberal Party and appears to headed our way. The reins of leadership lay on the ground, will he take them to grip and and bring the Liberal Phoenix to flight?

He has four years to build a party that truly reflects the moderate, social conscience of our nation. A party without the corruption of past politics not run by the boys behind the closed doors.

We can only wait and see. It's only four years,a lot can change in four years.

Promises & Warnings

I have come to the conclusion that if elected I propose a new law. The new law would make it mandatory for all campaign promises to include a warning or disclaimer statement.

These warnings should be similar to the warnings we get with medication or as seen on TV drug ads.

Here's a sample from my Ramipril medication.

"Do not take while breast feeding or when pregnant. Tell doctor your complete medical history. Drink fluids and avoid getting too hot. May make you dizzy. Use caution while driving. Caution; Be careful not to stand up too quickly. Tell doctor if bothersome cough develops & persists. Tell Dr. of slow pulse. Avoid potassium salt. It is important to check blood pressure regularly."

The warning writers try to cover all the bases for drug manufacturers. If you complain about their product, their response is "Did you read the warning information included in the package? You didn't? Well then it's not our problem, you should read warning labels." Simply put, "Screw you, you weren't paying attention!"

A Conservative political campaign warning should read something like the following.

"Any promise made in this election will be implemented, if we get a majority and in five years after balancing the pending new budget. Implementation will take place when and if the party wins a second majority. Implementation will take place only if and when a second budget containing the promise is passed. Promises either made or implied during the election campaign may be subject to change with or without notice. The party reserves the right to ignore any disappointment created by this promise. If depressed by the lack of implementation of promises, please line up to see your doctor."

A Liberal warning would look something like the following.

"Any promises expressed or implied during this election campaign will be implemented, if we form a majority government and or get approval from the other parties in the house of commons. Each promise will be sent to the new Standing Committee on Current Promises, and be evaluated prior to implementation. Promises made during this election will be implemented only after we have a good look at the previous government's books. Evaluation of these books may cause nausea and belt tightening. Belt tightening may cause dizziness and loss of promises. If this occurs line up to see a doctor at a local clinic"

An NDP campaign promise warning would be similar.

"Any promises expressed or implied during this election will be implemented, if we form a majority government. This may cause general numbness and freezing over in hell. Claiming to be a member of the Conservative Party would be recommended should the USA invade due to the election of a true socialist government."

If we don't read the warnings, the parties can just do the same thing as the drug companies. "Screw you, you weren't paying attention!"

I just realized something, they say that anyway. I just wasted a half an hour and some of your time. I guess I could run for office after all.

To quote the Tim Meadows in the movie Walk Hard; "If erection lasts longer than four hours ……….call more ladies."

Now that's a Warning Label.

Election Trash and Bash

I got up way too early this morning 5 am. I had the misfortune of watching Mr. Harpy call the election for May 2. You may ask why misfortune? I will try and explain my position, by not just saying I think the whole thing is just stupid, even though it is.

What I saw this morning was a great example of when power and ego circumvents logic. I watched bemused as Mr. Harpy basically pushed the fear based agenda that global governments for years perpetuated to control (us) the unwashed masses.(example: Nazi Germany, Lybia, Iran, Iraq, France, Great Britain, etc. get the point) Maybe Hugo Chavez is almost right, there is no life on Mars not because of capitalism but because fear based politics.

Instead of just translating into English and into French, we should of had someone translating into Plain Speak. I think it would have gone something like this.

Harpy, 'They are bad and we are good. We've been doing a good job and they have ruined it for everyone. If we don't get a majority, Canada will go to hell quickly and fall into confusion. You, will loose everything because the Liberals, NDP and Bloc are all liars. Don't listen to them, they're sneaky and liars. Look at the state of the world, disasters, financial crisis loom over us again and there is trouble in the middle east. If you don't vote for my party, all these things will happen here in Canada.'

Fear based politics.

Wouldn't it have been nice to actually see Mr. Harpy come out and say he was excited to go into another election. Here is an opportunity for him to speak positively about the work they have done and the potential work they will do in the future. But NO, he couldn't do that.

I managed to watch the other party leaders speak to our huddled masses. Mr. Agnat, seemed excited about the challenge his team would face and seemed focussed on trying to make us believe that the Liberals could form the next government. However, he is going to get cranky having to answer the coalition question over and over and over again. Mr. Cumlayton sounded like Barak Obama wrote his speech. Lizzie May appeared to be getting messages from the Green Man while speaking and I almost thought she was being translated because there seemed to be a disconnect between her words and her mouth. Probably just a technical problem, because she wasn't allowed to speak until Mr. Cumlayton had finished and probably got ahead of herself.

Actually the best thing this morning came from Mr. Cumlayton and Ms May. First, Cumlayton said, 'Ottawa is broken and we now have a chance to fix it.' Then Lizzie said, 'It is important for us to vote, don't let the scare tactics keep you home and let's put an end to attack ad politics.'

I might even vote for both of those reasons. The other thing I would like to see is Mr. Harpy red faced. He can blame the other parties as much as he wants for this election but in truth it is his ego and greed for power that has fuelled this situation and nothing else.

Did I mention I think the whole thing is stupid. That's just one man's opinion and it happens to be mine.

The Middle East, Charlie Sheen and Hockey

There has been a number of stories that have stolen the headlines for the past few weeks. Egypt, Libya, the Middle East in General and good ol' party guy Charlie Sheen. The first few are justified and Charlie is like watching the a train wreck. Now the Newsroom has added the Charra hockey hit.

That was the last straw on my Camel's back.

How many times do we have to see this hit? This reminds me of when the Diver hit the board attempting a back somersault and smashed face and then fell like a rock. It also reminds me of last years Luge accident at the Olympic warm up runs. Gruesome!

One step forward and there would not be an issue to report. One step back and there would be no issue. If you can stomach the video watch closely, this was not a hit from behind, this was not a head shot. Charra checked Pacioretty into the boards like any defenseman would. It was not a crushing bodycheck.

What I can see in the video is Max Pacioretty leaving his feet at the wrong place at the wrong time. The dangerous edge holding up the glass wall was and is an accident waiting to happen. This is a design flaw that has to be corrected in every pro and non pro rink.

If you want to see a deliberate head shot, watch the Todd Bertuzzi sucker punch on Steve Moore. Now that is a legal matter not the Pacioretty's hit.

Let's change gears and talk about the waste of airtime used to cover Charlie Sheen. Obviously, some Newsrooms think this is important stuff. Some think that this more important than the Middle East or at least it appears that way. The thing is that the coverage really isn't that good or coherent.

In one story an American Station interviewed the Porn Star that Charlie locked in a closet in New York or was it the bathroom. I've heard both. For some reason that I can't understand they felt it necessary to insert a shot of the Porn Star having Botox shots in her face. The voice over stated that "She was so upset with Mr. Sheen's actions she had to have Plastic Surgery." I think they had this clip and during editing someone said you better do a voice over here, what can you make up. It made no sense, and did not really have anything to do with the real story but they used it anyway.

What did I learn from this? I can now use this information when the Danish Princess gets upset or when I know get upset. How you may ask?

Danish Princess, "That really makes me upset!"
Response, "How Mad? Mad enough to have Plastic Surgery?"
Danish Princess, "No!"
Response, "Then, you really aren't that upset, then are you?"

Yes it's the simple stupid things in life that makes it worthwhile getting up each day.

The News lately has upset me but not enough to………………….

Dreams Confuse ME

Dreams confuse me. Lately I've been having very complex dreams. They have multiple characters, elaborate backgrounds and odd themes.



I have given up trying to figure them out. I usually wake up wondering where did that come from but I have realised that it doesn't matter. The one thing I do know for sure is when I don't dream as much, my paintings come easier. I'm looking forward to some dreamless nights because I have two canvasses ready to go and I would rather dump my energy into them than dreams.

This is an example of a one hour dream I had this morning between 8am and 9am. I call it 'The Morning Bedtime Story'.

'The Morning Bedtime Story'

This morning I fell back asleep after the Danish Princess got up. It was around 7:55 when she left the room. Before she left she pulled the drapes closed. This combined with the overcast gray skies allowed me to return to sleep. This is unlike me. I fell into a solid and heavy REM dream state.

In one short hour, I became a Taxidermy Apprentice. Who was the Taxidermy Expert you may ask. Well of course it was Carson Kressley from 'Queer Eye for the Straight Guy' fame. Who ran this House of Taxiderny? Joan Cusack of course.

Wait it gets weirder. 'The House of Taxidermy' was located in a run down, filthy, dusty, old house filled with live birds of all sorts, dogs and scabby cats. All apparently happy that we didn't specialize in animals. It was a Disney like hovel with creaky uneven floors, every horizontal surface was covered with papers and debris. Quite like my own studio at times but much worse.

The actual work was done in the basement, which of course had an old work bench cluttered with tools. An exposed light bulb hung from the open floor joists swaying slowly back and forth as you moved about the concrete space. Open wooden stairs ran up to a back door landing where the bodies and body parts usually arrived. It's screen door was of course slightly ajar to allow the animals to enter and exit the house.

Most of the time Joan Cusak walked around muttering and waving papers in the air as she dealt with people on the phone. One caller was upset that Cusack hadn't left the house to inquire about their well being after they were stuck in the muddy field next to the Taxidermy House. Cusack's response was quite pointed. "You got your self into that mess, yes I saw you from the kitchen window. Why the fuck would I run to your aid? I'm running a business here, not an idiot retrieval charity!"

At this point, I attended to my apprenticeship. Following Carson's vague instructions I started to remove most of the bones out of the arm of a cadaver. I didn't know what to fill the cavity with. Carson later suggested rocks. I said I thought the arm would look too bumpy. I then suggested spray foam insulation which he thought would be a good idea as long as I didn't over inflate the body. Finding that I had more questions, I searched for a place to put the body. I didn't want to leave it in the middle of the concrete floor, in case someone would trip or step on it while I was gone. I dragged the tarp under the open stairs and went to find my teacher.

Passing through the landing, two scabby cats entered and rubbed against my legs as I passed into the kitchen. At the same time Carson was answering the front door. He model-walked down the hall, one hand on a hip and the other holding an object wrapped in a towel. He announced "We have a head, CATCH, we will have your first real lesson. Come with me to the taxidermy station." Clutching the head I followed him to the basement.

"Lesson one, where will you find the green surgical towels to place under the head before we start the procedure?" I looked around stunned, there were piles of rags everywhere, some folded some just piled in heaps. 'I don't know, there?' I said then pointed to a pile of folded rags to his left.
"NO, you ninny, I didn't spend all that time organizing this place just to get stupid answers from you. Think!"
He was using a Diva voice and waving his left hand, index finger pointing out as if he was painting a picture with it.

The head started to squirm in the towel. I comforted it, 'He's not angry with you, everything will be alright.' Turning to Carson, I said ' You're upsetting the head, please calm down. Will these surgical greens be alright?" There was a heap to his right. "Perfect, end of lesson one!"

That was when the Danish princess enter the bedroom and and said, "I made breakfast are you awake?" Needless to say I rose from my bed quickly and staggered out to the kitchen. I did not want to spend another minute with Carson, Joan and the squirmy upset head.

Sweat Dreams everyone and just say no to drugs, unless of course they are keeping you alive so that you can paint and write blogs.

A Boy in the Balloon Walks into a Bar.

Look into his eyes..........

I think he is calling Bullshit.











This posting deals with two things, one is
'The Boy in the Balloon News Story' and the second is 'The Sled Dog Culling Story'. These two stories are conjoined in my mind for some reason.

Here's the deal, I have been watching the news patiently regarding the "Culling of the Sled Dogs Story.' I have been watching it and looking for facts. I am not seeing many thus far.

It reminds me of watching Suhana Meharchand on CBC News Network standing in front a monitor looking horrified as a giant silver hot air balloon was blown across southern California supposedly carrying a young boy possibly to his death. This story went on for hours, Suhana imaging the worst and wondering out loud what this young boy was thinking about as the wind blew him across the country.

Here we had a situation where 'supposedly' a boy had climbed into a balloon and then gone adrift. The Local Police, The State Police, The Highway Patrol, Air Traffic Controllers, EMS and Fire Officials were all called out to this supposed emergency. Better safe than sorry I presume. News Rooms from across North America and the World watched, waited in horror for the end of this drama. We all know the ending of this story, there was never any boy in the balloon and now his parents are in jail. Has it been mentioned again or was a lesson learned?

A guy walks into a government office, he looks tired and frazzled. He wants to be compensated for stress related to a job situation(Don't we all?). A job situation that happened almost a full year ago. He pleads his case and goes into horrific detail. The government agents are appalled; THIS IS SHOCKING. Does the man have any proof? Can anyone verify his claims, are there pictures, does he have a witness? The bodies are buried in a mass grave, in the woods, in the mountains. The man is the only one that knows where the bodies are, that's if he remembers clearly after all this stress, caused by this event that happened a year ago.

The government agents give the man some money for the PTSD to ease his pain. The agents call the SPCA, the NEWS and then the Provincial Government. The Province wants an inquiry, the SPCA says it's not their fault, they heard about it after the fact, The News causes a frenzy. There are death threats, there are claims and counter claims all hell has broken loose. The top two stories on all the News Channels are 'Rioting in Egypt' and 'The Sled Dog Culling'.

What's the difference? In the Egypt Story we can see the rioting, we can hear the gunfire. In the Sled Dog Story, a guy walks into a Government Office and claims he had to kill a bunch of healthy sled dogs and provides a bunch of Peckinpah like gruesome details. Where is the evidence?

If this is true, I am appalled. Until the actual facts are in I'm not going to speculate and I am not going to get whipped into a frenzy by a bunch of "He Said, She Said, They Said, We all Said" CRAP.

We don't even know what this guy looks like, everyone knows what his boss looks like, now is that right? The GUY's story seems pretty fluid, this morning the dogs killed were old and sick, at first they were healthy, at first there was a hundred and today it was fifty or sixty.

Let's just slow down a bit and wait for actual details before we go out start giving out death threats. Besides that everytime they show the sled dogs on TV, our dogs go crazy and it's causing me a lot of stress.

Once into the Breach

Once more into the breach, sober and smoke free for a full ten days.

Ouch..........

Two weeks ago my Darling Danish Princess brought home the flu. She picked up her copy of the NEW FLU from Shoppers Drugmart in Sooke. Apparently they were handing it out for free with every purchase of toilet paper. Fortunate for us that it coincided with the purchase of said toilet paper.

The night it hit the Princess, I had prepared a wonderful meal of prawns, rice and veggies. There was some concern that I had tried to poison her with one faulty prawn. (I would have used at least two if this were true.) Food poisoning or was it the flu? We had to wait and see. Gestation period, 2 to 3 days is what I figured.

I actually found the whole thing quite amusing at first. While she suffered on the couch, I sat in our big window listening to music, smoking cigarettes and having a glass or three of wine. I was pondering nature and my life style. A life style that actually was pretty good in many respects except for the bad habit portion. I don't mean the sitting on my butt looking out the window and listening to music portion. "If only I could get a sign or a gentle nudge in the right direction," I thought, "Changing my bad habits isn't as easy it used to be."

I received my (not so) gentle nudge Friday night, and then it kept up nudging for another 3 days. I am glad to say I managed to loose a few pounds and haven't had a smoke or a drink since then.

I am of two minds on this current adventure into smoke free sobriety.

The angel on my shoulder is telling me I am doing the right thing and this is good for my body. I will have a bright and shiny future filled with hikes, walks, gardening, prolonged life and happiness.

The other half of the equation says, you hate fucking hikes and walks unless you have a destination in mind. You do like gardening when you are not painting but even that can get tedious. Quitting smoking and drinking isn't going to make it any sunnier or brighter. You've done damage to yourself for all these years and this isn't going to fix it. This will probably kill you, your body could go into revolt and devour itself. Are you nuts?

Whose fucking idea was this anyway! Am I being forced by society to clean up my miserable act so I don't offend the norm. If I do this will I be able to criticise everyone's life style? No, I think not, nobody likes criticism anyway that's why 'they' need people like me around! Whose fucking idea was this anyway?

It was mine. Don't any of you out there claim that you convinced me to change my life style. I'll track you down and ...............

Sorry! It was my idea and I just had a moment. Don't know what came over me, OOPS.